Mrs S is 47 and lives close to Eastbourne in East Sussex and has 2 boys. She lived in Kent before the family relocated to Sussex when she was 13 due to her father’s work. She loves animals and has recently started her own business with a colleague. She has been married 3 times and unfortunately all have failed for various reasons with the third marriage in particular causing a lot of pain and anguish. We pick up the story there.
1. What happened in your third marriage?
By this point, I had 2 children and met a man who was 10 years older than me with 4 children. He was a very successful businessman and we were attracted to each other immediately. There was no doubting that my partner had stress in his life from his business and his children, but the bad times were far eclipsed by the good times.
2. It sounds as though it was all going well. What changed?
After 3 years of being together, he wanted to get married. It was then that things started to change. He began having more bad days and everything started to get too much for him, particularly the stresses of his business and commuting to London. He was starting to drink alcohol more and more and was very unpredictable at times. I was very concerned about my eldest son who was 17 at the time, as my husband was becoming quite aggressive towards me and I knew if my son witnessed this he would step in.
3. How were you feeling when you reached out for help?
I was actually an “emotional wreck”. My third marriage breakdown was a complete shock. Not surprisingly, I felt very vulnerable and when I begged him to get help it turned quite nasty. We separated, but it continued to be a very tricky time for me as communication between us was very strained. I had been working for him and my salary ended so I had no money coming into the household. I wasn’t able to sleep and my head was constantly spinning. I was very emotional and felt totally out of control not knowing how to stop this rollercoaster of emotions and despair. I couldn’t see past this. Within weeks he was seen out with another woman, which belittled our whole relationship and I just felt I had lived a total lie. I had hit rock bottom.
4. How did you hear about Becoming Aware?
My friend’s daughter had seen Karen and she recommended her to me. I started initially by texting her. I then felt it was worthwhile making an appointment to see Karen – I was feeling so desperate and had nothing to lose. I would also like to say that I was having counselling as well - I was at an all time low!
5. What happened after you had made the appointment?
Karen went through what she could offer and what I really liked was that she was prepared to come to my home. I saw Karen every week, sometimes twice a week and the sessions lasted an hour or two depending on the progress we were making.
6. Progress, that sounds good?
Well initially, there wasn’t a lot of improvement, as I couldn’t stop crying. I believed that I had finally met the man of my dreams, someone I could trust and although I knew divorce was sadly the right conclusion, I was still angry and missing him. However, as we continued, I started to feel more in control and during the last few sessions, I had stopped crying and felt much stronger.
7. How do you think Karen managed to get this breakthrough?
She has a way of unlocking everything that you have locked away. We actually found that there was a lot of emotion locked away from my first marriage and she draws things out of you that are too emotional to touch by yourself. This gives you an opportunity to grieve and to get over what is holding you back. To start seeing a future again was a big step for me and after each session it was if a weight had been lifted from me. This allowed me to concentrate on the positives in life and things that really mattered like my boys and family, health and work. I can say that I finally felt “cleansed” and I could finally concentrate on my future.
8. How would you describe Karen?
She is compassionate and has empathy towards your situation. She seems to know and can also feel how you are feeling which I think is her spiritual side coming through. She’s a great listener and seems to be able to direct you to bring the things out that are holding you back. She made me realise how powerful the mind is so that you begin to think positively and you start to see paths you can take, and that’s the positive paths and not the negative paths you have been going down.
9. So how is life going now?
I have a fantastic family and amazing supportive friends and I feel very blessed that I have been able to start my own business doing something I love and that’s being around animals, particularly dogs. I do now have a lovely boyfriend and we are very happy; we are both independent and have our own houses. I am delighted to say that he has been very supportive with my new business venture.
10. Is there anything else you would like to say?
I admit that I have made some bad choices in my life - no one is perfect! However, I have refused to give up on happiness. I now feel empowered and very positive about my life. I feel extremely lucky to have what I have and I have always remained very close to my boys throughout everything; they are my world and I am very proud of them both. My friends and family have all been amazing; I am very lucky.
And ..... if anyone else out there is feeling desperate like I was, please give Karen a call, you have nothing to lose and so much to gain.
What To Do Next
Karen Hoad from Becoming Aware based in Eastbourne is a qualified and experienced Emotional Healing & Wellbeing Practitioner who will help you to overcome your negative feelings and emotions by unlocking the root cause. Call Karen on 07766 427966 for a without obligation chat or email karen@becomingaware.co.uk
This interview was carried out by Annie from Writing and Blogging.
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